oilandcloth hall of fameth: alf

When I was a kid Alf made no sense to me. Now as an adult it's not on TV anymore so it still makes no sense. But I do remember he liked cats and his "tv dad" was kinda funny. I do recall Alf made a comeback a couple of years ago and was on all the talk shows. Alf barely made it into the hall of fameth but since so many other candidates were on performance enhancing laugh tracks at the time... Alf is a pure TV talent that deserves his due. Thank you Alf for the service you've given.

oil and cloth hall of fameth: Bo Jackson

I can say without question that you are not nearly as cool as Bo Jackson. You know those Chuck Norris jokes that you forward around about how awesome Chuck Norris is? Bo Jackson wrote those...all of them. If Bo Jackson was rafting upstream in the Niagara River and dropped his soy latte over the falls, he would at have the decency to go back and pick up his own litter even it meant slowing him for a couple of seconds.

When I was a kid I saw Bo hit four home runs in yankee stadium...on tv. That was when nobody gave a shit about the yankees because they sucked. And everybody cared about Bo Jackson because he was awesome.

My only regret is that I was not able to become close friends with him only so I could sleep on the floor of his hotel room. Maybe we could watch Columbo or Matlock if he wasn't too tired from making grown men look like impotent midget asian men who's wives would leave in an instant if they had a taste of what the Bo was cooking. In a totally unrelated topic, how nice were those baby blue uniforms? They brought those back you know. Yeah! I saw 'em on tv the other day. On second thought I don't think I'd like to meet Bo Jackson.

oilandcloth hall of fameth: alex trebek

Here's some quotes from the great one (whether these are quotes from the program known as Jeopardy or just things caught in passing at Alex's private brandy room I know not.) :

"If you can't be in awe of Mother Nature, there's something wrong with you."

"Sex? Unfortunately, as you get older - and I shouldn't admit this - there are other things that become more important in your daily life."

"I don't gamble, because winning a hundred dollars doesn't give me great pleasure. But losing a hundred dollars pisses me off."

"My musical development stopped when Frank Sinatra died."


I'll never forget the answer to the first Jeopardy question I ever answered...Babe Ruth. I was the man that day. Not now though, now I just play with my cat.

oilandcloth hall of fameth: inaugural edition

don draper. so badass and cool. you wish you were him. if you were lost in the grand canyon and don draper was also lost in a similar location and i had a cool glass bubble helicopter that only sat two people and i was alone like thinking about how awesome my life is but i needed time to just get away from all the pressure and i saw you and don draper near each other and you both looked like you needed to be rescued.....i would probably choose don draper over you. unless you had a rack that was just to to die for. not just a great rack but something that would age well over time....what were we talking about?